I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
