Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
