So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
