is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
