You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
