So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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