I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
