Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
