just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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