So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
