I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
