i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize