I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
