she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
