Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
