This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
