I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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