I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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