we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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