dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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