Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
