So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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