do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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