Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
