after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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