So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
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He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
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Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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