Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
