Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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