We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
