Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
