Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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