Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
