3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
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