I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
