I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
