its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize