I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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