Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
God, I missed his penis.
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