If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
