I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize