"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize