I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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