I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
