We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
