We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
