How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
