Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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