this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
