its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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