i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
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But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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