I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
