Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
