So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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