I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize