No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
