I got chris browned last night
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
