Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
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This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
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There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.