Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..