and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg