How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
